PRE-BABY

It took me four years to feel ready for another baby.

When Clara was born, I was running two businesses on top of the juggle of full-time care for her with no help, and the mental load that comes with managing a household and family. In modern society, we’re asked to never stop and keep the candle burning at both ends. I wanted it all but the cost of it was my health and mental wellbeing. By the end of the first year, I was diagnosed with exhaustion. I thought that always being tired was part of the norm of having a baby but I later discovered that I had a lot of mineral deficiencies and I was on the verge of chronic fatigue. As an accidental overachiever, I wanted to be a supermum but I was completely blindsided by postnatal depletion.

At my lowest point, I was battling two episodes of Uveitis. After trying too hard to avoid it, I finally heard my physical body screaming for my attention. 

The years that followed, I learned to slow down, tune in and surrender to motherhood. I sought the expertise of a naturopath and a clinical psychologist who provided me with a new lens on life and self-care. I started to challenge my demanding inner critic. I followed the lead of my velcro baby who to my surprise, became my greatest teacher. She taught me patience, wonder, and the true meaning of living in the present.

With true acceptance for this season of my life, I decided that I wanted to do this second chapter of motherhood differently. I didn’t want to be pulled in all directions at the same time; I didn’t want to always feel like I had to choose between business or baby. After being in business for 11 years — juggling it with a baby for the last 4 years — I decided that I had learned everything I could and that it was time to pass on the baton. It was 12 months in the making but I eventually found the perfect buyers for both businesses and just like that, it felt like the heaviest weight was lifted off my shoulders.

During that time, at three years old, Clara finally weaned off breastfeeding and my body became my own possession again.

The last piece of the puzzle to be slotted into place was my clearance from the ophthalmologist as I had been prescribed medication to stabilise my eye pressure (a side effect of long-term use of steroids which I needed to treat the Uveitis) which wasn’t pregnancy safe. I was given the all clear in late December and in serendipitous alignment with my ovulation cycle and the Chinese gender prediction chart, we fell pregnant immediately. 

PREGNANCY

As soon as we found out we were pregnant, my GP and OB confirmed that I needed to start taking a low-dose of aspirin daily as blood thinners to prevent another case of intrauterine growth restriction (IUGR). It seamlessly became part of my morning routine.

In reflection, I’m so glad I took the time to give myself and this baby a strong foundation to thrive physically, mentally and spiritually because the first trimester was more testing than I could have ever imagined.

My nausea and first trimester fatigue was so much tougher on the body than what I remember of the first pregnancy. Feeling queasy and so revolted by food all day long made me miserable. The permanent metallic taste in my mouth turned me off even drinking water.

I’m naturally a high achiever and not being able to function without a nap was seen as unproductive by my demanding inner critic. I had to remind myself that I was making a baby—the most productive and miraculous thing my body could do.

I had no doubt Clara was nurturing and empathetic, although clingy by nature. It was impossible to predict how she’d cope with my new tired and nauseous state. But she quickly learned to give me space. She fetched me coconut water whenever I was thirsty, and my Kindle whenever I needed it. To my delight, her relationship with her Daddy has blossomed in my absence, and her independence has flourished!

Having emerged from the other side of all this, the second trimester was thankfully kinder and gentler. 

With the support of the same OB as my first pregnancy, I made an informed decision to have an elective caesarean. 

THIRD TRIMESTER

As the COVID case numbers rose, restrictions were tightened at the OB and ultrasound clinic. I attended all the appointments alone. It wasn’t ideal but I easily accepted the rule. I just couldn’t imagine what it was like for all the first-time mothers out there and I was grateful to have experienced my first pregnancy before the world turned upside down.

At one stage, I had a sliding doors encounter with a positive COVID case who attended the ultrasound clinic several hours prior to my appointment. As a possible casual contact, I was advised to get tested immediately. The ultrasound clinic closed for two weeks and I transferred to one of their other locations. Soon after, it became a requirement at both the OB and ultrasound clinic to show a negative COVID test no less than 72 hours old. As annoying as this process was, it was put into place to protect us and I welcomed the peace of mind. 

By week 30, I was in positive spirits that the baby had comfortably maintained his position on the 50th percentile curve on the growth chart. However, by week 32, his weight plummeted down to the 8th percentile. Suddenly, that sinking feeling from my first pregnancy came flooding back to me. I received a familiar call from the OB immediately after the ultrasound where she delivered the news I didn’t want, but knew to expect. It was all happening again. My hopes to have my baby with me from birth (and skip the special care nursery) instantly faded away. 

My conversation with the OB was déjà vu all over again. Same plan, different baby. I slowly repeated the plan after the OB, trying to take it all in. “OK, I’ll call the hospital after this call to book in an ECG for tomorrow, then I’ll schedule in another growth scan for next Wednesday. And I’ll see you on Monday.” I said. “We’ll monitor this baby closely with scans every second day” said the OB reassuringly. 

Once the new plan had sunk in, my protective mama bear instincts kicked in. I approached this methodically, like I would with a work project. 

To throw another spanner in the works, the COVID-19 vaccine eligibility criteria was finally changed to include pregnant women, however, it was near impossible to get an appointment at a vaccination hub or GP due to a shortage Australia-wide. I stalked Facebook groups; I used all the medical booking apps; I called all the GPs. My OB continued to keep me informed about the latest research on the vaccine and I remained motivated to be fully vaxxed before my scheduled C-section date to ensure I was giving the baby the greatest chance at receiving the antibodies. It shouldn’t have been this hard but it was frustratingly so. After several days of detective work, I finally tracked down my two doses of the Pfizer vaccine.

By week 34, the baby surpassed Clara’s IUGR birth weight of 1760grams which was a huge milestone for us. But his weight continued to yo-yo and my consistently high uterine artery PI indicated increased risk of developing preeclampsia.

I packed my hospital bag at week 35, knowing that we could be meeting our baby any day now. With every triweekly scan came the possibility of bringing forward the delivery date. And as part of looking after my future-self, I kept myself busy batch cooking nutritious wholesome meals for the freezer.

Unfortunately, with just under two weeks to go until the planned c-section date, Clara’s pre-school had a positive COVID case which meant that she was considered a close contact and would have to self-isolate. Since a four-year old can’t self-isolate by themselves, it essentially meant our family had to self-isolate. Days later, we’re advised that because Zen did the drop-off on the date of the exposure, he would also be classified as a close contact. I spent many frustrating hours on the phone with NSW Health authorities discussing the implications of this on my birth plans. Conflicting information from different authorities and the hospital made it all the more complicated and infuriating. On the flip side, I was eternally grateful for all this uninterrupted time with my firstborn.

Five days prior to the planned c-section date, I had my last growth scan and with everything looking stable, the day was set. 

I spent the next few days preparing for the transition to becoming a family of four. I wrote a letter to Clara. I wrote a letter to my baby. I also wrote five love letters/cards to Clara for each of the five nights that I’d be in hospital, and I paired each card with a little scavenger hunt around the house. Clara has never spent a night without me so it was important to me that she didn’t feel abandoned or emotionally neglected during this time. 

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With under 48 hours to go until the planned c-section, I finally let out my breath when I received an email from the hospital confirming that we have been given an exemption for Zen to be present at the birth. He would have to return home to serve out the remainder of the isolation period (48 hours) and thus wouldn’t be able to support me in the hospital room. 

DAY OF PLANNED CAESAREAN

There was a calmness in the air from knowing that we’ve been through this before. The morning played out exactly as planned. I was up at 4:30am to allow myself the time and space to be present. I listened to my positive caesarean hypnobirthing affirmations and at 5am, I gently woke Clara and Zen. We’d packed Clara’s bags together the night before so it was already waiting for her at the door. I placed my five love letters on the table and reminded her that she’ll see me on the sixth day, after she opens one letter per day. I gave her a tight hug and we said our goodbyes. She was excited to be spending the day with her favourite auntie. 

After dropping Clara off at my sister’s place, Zen returned to pick me up and we made the short drive to the hospital. Due to being close contacts with the COVID outbreak at Clara’s daycare, there were strict procedures put into place at the hospital. I called the delivery suite on arrival and had to be escorted upstairs. Due to some internal miscommunication, I was left to wait outside for over 20 minutes. It felt like the longest 20 minutes of my life. However, soon enough, we’re in. Staff and cleaners, all dressed in PPE waited at every touchpoint as a safety precaution. We were led away from the main maternity rooms and through double sets of doors. The door to my room would remain closed at all times and I had a dedicated midwife to reduce her risk of transmission amongst other patients and staff. Of course I’d already tested negative everyday but they took no chances and both Zen and I had to take another COVID test on arrival. 

I showered and changed into my hospital gown. Patient identification bands were tied around my wrist and ankle, and I settled into the bed to wait for further instruction.

As I anticipated the next course of action, a man entered the room to take my blood. I’d completely forgotten about this step and it took me by surprise. I tried my best to hide my needle phobia as my blood was drawn. I was reminded that this was a standard procedure to ensure they have a complete blood count and to check my blood type in case I needed a blood transfusion during or after the c-section.

By 7:30am, we were still sitting around, waiting. 

I originally had a birth photographer booked but due to the lockdown restrictions, they were no longer permitted so I armed Zen with my DSLR. While we waited, I took the opportunity to give him another crash course on the basic functions of my camera.

However, much to our devastation, as a team arrived to wheel me down to the operating theatre, we were advised that no phones or cameras will be allowed as specified by the hospital’s COVID response team. I felt robbed and I wanted to protest but there was no time to dwell or respond to this news. Deep down, I was gutted that we wouldn’t be able to capture our baby’s entrance to the world, but my hospital bed was already on the move. My mind quickly caught up to my body and I focused on gratitude. I was grateful that despite the circumstances, Zen was able to be here with me. I was grateful that we made it to 38 weeks + 5 days which was the original date we had pencilled in on my first OB appointment. I was grateful that I was in the best of care. I took a deep breath and visualised that I was breathing love down to my baby. 

As I was being wheeled into lifts and through tight corridors, my baby’s kicks continued to be strong and fierce, as they had been all through the pregnancy. “I’m so sorry for forcing you out before you’re ready” I whispered beneath my N95 mask to him. “But I can’t wait to meet you”. 

The funny thing is, when Clara was born at 37 weeks, I felt so much guilt for delivering her early. Although it was well justified for her safety, I had always hoped that I’d be able to extend the due date for my next baby. And yet, the last week wasn’t at all what I’d expected. Whilst there was a sense of relief that we’d reached full term, I’d spent the last week in angst, hoping that I wouldn’t go into labour naturally before the scheduled c-section date. My baby was so active; he felt happy and healthy. But by contrast, the tri-weekly scans were wearing me down. I couldn’t wait for heartburn to be a thing of the past. I couldn’t wait to hold my baby. Today was the day. 

It turned out that the COVID response team had organised for me to be taken to a designated operating theatre, tucked away like a hidden dungeon. Nobody was allowed to freely enter or exit the room and everything was wrapped in plastic. All the staff were shielded in PPE. The air was cold but calm. As though I had been rehearsing for this my entire life, it felt like my time to shine and my body kicked into auto-pilot. 

I met the anaesthetist and I instantly recognised his reassuring voice. He had carefully talked me through the process over the phone just yesterday and now, with only his eyes to go by, I trusted him with my body. 

He asked me to sit up, lean forward and curve my back so my spine would stick out. Knowing about my needle phobia, I liked that he over-communicated at every move. “What you’re about to feel is just a marker” he said in a relaxed but focused tone. 

When it was time for the local anaesthetic to go in, I clenched my jaws and I trusted the process. I repeated my affirmations:

“Every moment here is a moment closer to meeting my baby”

“I’ve done this before; my body was made for this”

“My baby and I are safe”

There was a slight sting, similar to that of a mosquito bite or bee sting but it only lasted a few seconds. Before I knew it, the spinal block was done. A warm tingling sensation ran through my body and numbness took over. They used ice cubes to assess the level of the spinal block and at that point, I knew I was minutes away from meeting my baby.

I remember a great big tug followed immediately by the high pitched cry of my baby. A wave of tears flooded over me as I looked back at Zen. Despite not having our cameras, this moment will forever be etched in my memory.

Zen cut his cord and he was placed on me for skin-to-skin, and for a moment, time stood still. His cries softened as he opened his beautiful dark brown eyes and gazed back at me. I said to him — “Hello Atticus. I’m your mama.”

He weighed 2570g, just 165g off the estimate weight from my last scan which would have placed him on the 9th percentile.

FIRST DAYS

Visitors had long been banned from hospitals, however, one support person was permitted. It varied across hospitals as to whether or not the support person was allowed to come and go. Regardless, due to our unique COVID situation, I spent the first three nights alone. The double set of doors to my room remained closed at all times. Every midwife had to be carefully shielded in PPE which included a surgical gown, goggles and a face mask. And so for the first 72 hours, the only human contact Atticus had (aside from myself and his first few hours with Zen) were with these masked faces. That was all he knew. What a strange state of the world to be born in.

My earlier anxieties about being without support on the first night while I was still recovering from the anaesthesia quickly subsided once Zen left the hospital. My tenacious drive naturally kicked in.

Some of the friendlier midwives stayed around to chat after they’d performed the routine checks on the baby and I. I greatly welcomed the conversations in what otherwise was going to be a lonely few days.

By 6:30am on the morning after the c-section, I had my first shower and was back on my feet. According to my FitBit, I only slept two hours on the first night.

The second and third nights were the hardest and they’d easily go down as one of the toughest moments of my life. While mothers are often reminded to go slow and to take it easy after a caesarean birth, without my partner by my side to help, it was a gruelling solo marathon of feeding, burping, nappy changing and settling. My body had become comfortable with the luxury of sleep ever since my four-year old begun sleeping through the night, several years ago. I’d forgotten about the true torture and relentlessness of sleep deprivation.

Atticus’s cluster feeding worked in synchronisation with my body and my milk came in at 48 hours (which is something to celebrate as I was told that this normally doesn’t happen until 72 hours for caesarean births). I had to re-learn how to breastfeed a newborn and my confidence shattered a little with each painful latch. I thought that after breastfeeding Clara for three years, my nipples would be as tough as leather but these four days of cluster feeding left them raw and sore. We spent a total of 21 hours breastfeeding in the first four days and by day six, on the day of discharge, Atticus was only 100 grams off his birth weight! (For context, a maximum weight loss of 7-10% in the first week is considered normal.)

Each time I looked down at my baby, all the mental hurdles and physical pain dissipated. I knew that I was exactly where I was meant to be. I was relieved, joyous and in disbelief that he was finally here. Atticus Kai Huang, the fourth corner to our square — our family is now complete.

P.S. Here’s a little video of us during the newborn bubble.

The post Birth Story of Atticus Kai appeared first on Mama's Got This.

I was forwarded a version of this Chinese Gender Prediction Calendar many years ago when I was pregnant with Clara. Thinking it was a silly old wives’ tale, I unassumingly plotted my lunar year of birth and the lunar month of conception and didn’t think much of the prediction despite validating that it was true via the NIPT (Nest) test several weeks later.

It wasn’t until many years later, that this has been come back up in conversation now that many of my friends have multiple children of the same gender and were curious of any proven ways to conceive a boy or girl. Or in my case, we knew our family would be complete with two children and although we didn’t mind having two girls (it would have actually been easier to be able to reuse everything!), we thought it would have been nice to have one of each. For us, there was no harm in trying for a boy as we truly would have been over the moon with either!

Without further ado, here’s the chart which I’ve neatly reformatted:

How does the Chinese Gender Prediction Chart work?

Also commonly referred to as the Chinese Gender Predictor, the Chinese Gender Calendar or the Chinese Gender Chart, the chart aims to predict the gender of a baby based on the lunar month of conception (on the X-axis) and the lunar age of the mother (on the Y-axis).

Note that both inputs need to be the lunar calendar date equivalent. It’s a complicated process to convert the Gregorian date to the lunar date so I use this Gregorian to Lunar calendar converter. For accuracy, you’ll need to convert both the mother’s date of birth from the Gregorian calendar to the corresponding date in the lunar calendar, as well as the month of conception.

To use the chart, simply consult the respective column (lunar month of conception) and row (lunar age of mother at conception) to see where it overlaps. Obviously, if it overlaps on a blue box, then it’s a baby boy, and if it’s a pink box, it’s a baby girl. For example, if a woman is 36 years old, her lunar age is 37; if she conceived in lunar November., then according to the Chinese Gender Prediction Chart, she will give birth to a baby boy.

Similarly, you can use this chart to try to conceive a baby girl or boy, which is what we did! And if my case study is anything to go by, we did get the baby boy we were trying for!

Where did the Chinese Gender Prediction Chart come from?

The history of this particular gender prediction method is part mystery, part legend.

According to one account, the chart was supposedly found in an ancient Chinese imperial tomb some 700 years ago during either the Ming or Yuan Dynasty. The earliest Chinese dynasty dates back to 2070 BCE, so this method might have been used for thousands of years.

Another tale circulating the internet suggests that it was created during the Chinese Qing Dynasty (1644-1911 A.D.), and it was deduced from the theory of yin and yang, five elements (metal, water, wood, fire, and earth), and the Pa Kua (Eight Trigrams). It’s said that the Chinese Gender Calendar Chart was relied upon by the Qing Dynasty imperial family for the gender selection of sons. It was kept in the palace and was not available to the public. When the Qing dynasty lost the battle with Eight-Nation Alliance in 1900, the documents were sent to the British. They were apparently given to the King, and it was translated from Manchu into English. The chart later appeared in Austria, and when one Chinese scholar saw it, he copied the content, brought it to Taiwan, and published it in the newspaper in 1972.

Either way, there are stories that claim the accuracy of this chart is as high as 92%.

Common Mistakes in Using the Chinese Gender Prediction Chart

From my experience, there are three common errors made when using this chart and they both stem from choosing the wrong age. It seems simple though, but here’s why:

Mistake #1 – Using your western age and not your lunar age

The age of the mother should be her lunar age. In general, the traditional method to calculate this, is to add one to the western age. The idea behind this is that the Chinese calculate their age from the time the baby is in the womb, which means that a baby is already one when they are born.

However, there are exceptions to this. If a baby is born before that year’s lunar new year, then their lunar age of the same year would be two!

The headache-proof method is to just use a Gregorian to Lunar calendar converter to get your lunar age.

Mistake #2 – Using your current age and not your age at the time of conception

This is an easy oversight. The age you should be using needs to align to your age on the month of conception, not your age at this present moment. Again, remember that this needs to be the lunar age, not your actual age in the Gregorian calendar.

Mistake #3 – Not knowing the exact conception date

Obviously without knowing one of the inputs, you cannot expect a correct gender prediction. However, you can take an average by adding 14 days to your last menstrual period to get an estimate ovulation time where conception could have occurred.

Can you select a baby’s gender using the chart?

To get technical, the gender of your baby depends only on the chromosomes in the sperm released by the male. A combination of the Y chromosome from the father with the X chromosome of the mother makes it a boy while the X chromosome from the father combines with the X chromosome of the mother to make it a girl.

I acknowledge that this chart completely discounts the male and there’s absolutely no scientific support for the chart, but based on over 20 calculations, I currently have a 100% accuracy rate amongst my family and friends as well as with my own two pregnancies.

So now tell me… Is the Chinese Gender Prediction Chart accurate for you?

The post Myth or Truth: Chinese Gender Prediction Calendar appeared first on Mama's Got This.

Truth #1. You’ll start showing earlier

I announced my first pregnancy when I was 20 weeks. That’s how long it took for my belly to show. Or so I thought! In hindsight, I could’ve passed it off as a bloated tummy or a food baby! See evidence below.

This was my bump at 26 weeks… still barely a bump by comparison to this second pregnancy!

And here I was, in the third trimester…

And guess how many weeks pregnant I am in the shots below? 16, going onto 17 weeks!!! Definitely comparable to my third trimester bump in the first pregnancy!

My body definitely remembered how to be pregnant and it took next to no time for my bump to show this second time!

Truth #2. Each pregnancy will feel completely different, stop comparing them

There was a lot of joy during my first pregnancy; I remember lovingly rubbing Bio-Oil on my belly from the moment I found out that I was expecting. I’d walk past a mirror and admire my pregnant body. I loved the feeling of being pregnant. Having a growing baby inside of me felt like I had a secret language and connection that only my baby and I were privy to. My hair was glossy, my skin had that tell-tale pregnancy glow, and I just adored being pregnant.

While I suffered from morning sickness during the daytime in the first pregnancy, it disappeared by night and allowed me to feel human again on a daily basis. This time round, my nausea and first trimester fatigue was so much tougher on the body than the first pregnancy. Feeling queasy and so revolted by food all day and night made me tremendously miserable. The permanent metallic taste in my mouth turned me off even drinking water. My belly popped from week 5 and due to other digestive issues, I was bloated and uncomfortable all the time.

Placenta position can also play a huge part in how you experience the pregnancy. Most commonly, the placenta is located at the top of the uterus (fundus) which was the case for my first pregnancy. This time, I have an anterior (front wall) placenta so it hasn’t been possible to feel kicks or punches as strongly because the placenta acts as a cushion between the front of my stomach and the baby.

It is difficult to not compare pregnancies because they inadvertently set your expectations but Teddy Roosevelt’s famous assertion that “comparison is the thief of joy” is a great reminder here that comparing pregnancies will only leave you feeling deflated and inadequate.

Truth #3. If you ever feel guilty for taking a nap or resting, remind yourself that you’re creating a human

When you’re pregnant for the first time, you don’t have the responsibilities of taking care of any other humans, you get to leisurely nap at any time of day. You don’t have to abide by anybody else’s schedule but your own.

When you’re pregnant for the second time, there’s a never-ending list of things to do for the first child. They need love, support, and mostly, attention.

Combatting first trimester fatigue and nausea with a toddler definitely left me feeling so disheartened and even guilty that I needed to lie down. My inability to be completely present for my toddler weighed on me like a tonne of bricks. So it was helpful to remind myself that at any given moment, my body was in fact working miraculously hard. My body could have been making an eye ball, creating an arm, or a million other things, all from scratch. Give yourself the compassion and space to rest. You deserve it.

Truth #4. Self-care needs to be a priority that gets scheduled in

This leads me onto self-care. With the first pregnancy, I tried to do all the thing—juggle the intensity of running of a marketing agency and a food media & events company, whilst squeezing in all the usual demands and mental load of being a mindful boss, wife, friend, sister, auntie, daughter, and granddaughter, all while growing a child. Then there was the pressure I put on myself to exclusively breastfeed and freshly prepare organic food for baby-led weaning. Needless to say, even three years post-partum, I was left so run down and depleted.

This time round, my self-care was top of the list. I signed up to pre-natal yoga, which thanks to COVID, had to be online. I sought the support of a naturopath and a clinical psychologist to ensure my body and mind was prepared for the upcoming changes, and I’ve been treating myself to monthly pre-natal massages.

I’ve learnt that the hormone Relaxin starts to circulate throughout the blood stream just after ovulation, peaks after the first trimester and continues until 6 months after giving birth. Relaxin functions to relax and loosen joints and ligaments and the cervix to prepare for birth. As hips widen, the gluteus muscles are stretched and become weak and sore. Pelvic and lower back pain often also occurs as a result of increase in weight and stretching of ligaments. So when your muscles feel tight or sore, book yourself into a massage; even better yet, schedule it in as a monthly commitment and you’ll definitely be thanking your past-self!

Self-care is one of the easiest things to drop off the list when things get too busy so I’ve been scheduling all my self-care appointments into the calendar to ensure it happens.

Truth #5. You may not be on top of taking your supplements every single day

As someone who diligently takes all her supplements without fail every single day, the first trimester nausea really threw me off. I was somewhat caught off-guard but my naturopath reminded me that it was OK if I wasn’t on top of taking my supplements every single day.

The best strategy I have surrounding this mindset shift is to“never miss twice.” This is a concept I got from James Clear on building good habits.

I think the pressure we put on ourselves can steal a lot of the joy from pregnancy so this truth is a reminder to be kind to yourself.

Truth #6. You won’t have to buy much

With the first pregnancy, there was a sentimental novelty about getting to buy everything for the first time—the first size 00000 onesie, the first pair of shoes, the first high chair, the first car seat… I often sought the best of the best, which actually worked out quite well as it means now, four years later, most things are still in a great condition to be passed down!

Tip: We accidentally discovered that a four year age gap is actually very ideal because the firstborn will have transitioned from the baby car seat to a booster seat, and they’ll have moved on from using things like the high chair and pram!

I’ve also embraced pay-it-forward groups on Facebook, having gifted appliances, pre-loved toys and clothes that we don’t need, and on the flip side, received some gorgeous pre-loved clothes. Owning pre-loved clothing helps the environment and ultimately, reduce the amount of fashion/toys waste that goes to landfill! My sister and I have also been swapping kids clothes which means we’ll have a complete wardrobe ready for the baby, without needing to buy anything—her three-year old son’s boy clothes are being saved for our baby boy, and Clara’s girly clothes are being passed down to her two-year old daughter! (For the first two years of Clara’s life, I only bought her gender-neutral clothing but since becoming a toddler, she’s decided that she loves pink, tutus and all the girly things so I’m glad it’s all going to a good home!)

Truth #7. You’ll embrace maternity wear as early as you need

This is somewhat related to the first truth about showing earlier. As a result, I invested in my first two pairs of maternity tights when I was only 4 weeks pregnant. By week 5, I knew I’d made the right decision as it was pure comfort.

Tip: Check out the Active Truth maternity tights with pockets. Having pockets make all the difference!

In the first pregnancy, I was too self-conscious about how pregnant or not pregnant I looked, but during the second pregnancy, I’ve learned to silence out the world. You really don’t care as much, and it’s great!

Truth #8. Trust that the firstborn will be more resilient and adaptable than we give them credit for

It’s natural to be worried about the upcoming changes and how that will affect your firstborn, your one-and-only. I’m particularly sensitive to this as it triggers my inner-child and fears of emotional abandonment and rejection. It’s something I’ve been working through with my psychologist.

It’s been a great relief, just how much my almost four-year old understands. When I was experiencing the first trimester nausea and fatigue, she knew to give me space and would turn to Daddy to play. She quickly adapted to seeing me hover over the toilet and would gently rub my back while asking if I was feeling OK. Whenever she saw me laying down in defeat, she’d fetch me a glass of coconut water or my Kindle. Often, I’d wake up from a nap with a small bouquet of wild flowers she’d hand-picked during an outing to the park with Daddy, or a new artwork piece she’d created for me with Daddy’s help. My favourite part has been hearing her loudly and proudly declare: “I’m going to be a big sister!” while she lovingly puts aside a collection of hand-me-down baby toys and clothes that she’s outgrown, for her baby brother.

We had to stop showering together when I was around 20 weeks pregnant because it became too difficult to constantly bend over. I dreaded the day I’d have to tell her I couldn’t do it anymore, so I persisted just a few weeks more until my back couldn’t take it anymore. Then I explained the situation to her, emphasising just how much I love her, and that we could resume showering together once her baby brother was born. And that was that. There was no tantrum, no outburst, no whinging; never once has she asked to join me again. I was surprised by the uneventfulness, but mostly, it was a reminder of just how resilient and adaptable toddlers/pre-schoolers can be.

Truth #9. You won’t keep track of the pregnancy week-by-week and that’s OK… Sometimes you’ll even forget that you’re pregnant!

I was able to track my first pregnancy by the day and at any given point, I could’ve even told you what fruit the baby was the size of. But this time round, the days have blurred into weeks, and the only time I check the pregnancy apps is when my firstborn asks how big the baby is!

You wouldn’t have thought it possible but many times, I’ve even been surprised to see my protruding belly in the bathroom! So yes, it is possible that sometimes, you’ll forget that you’re pregnant because your sole attention, is probably on your firstborn!

Furthermore, if you took daily photos of your pregnant belly during the first pregnancy, don’t be alarmed if you only manage to take weekly photos during the second pregnancy. In fact, I started my daily photos from around week 4 during the first pregnancy to create this time-lapse video in the CineMama app:

And I didn’t even start taking a weekly photo until week 15 this time, because most mornings, my only goal is to get my pre-schooler to daycare before morning tea is served!

Truth #10. There’s only so much you can do to prepare the firstborn for a sibling; accept that the rest is out of your control

So here are some things we’ve done with our firstborn to prepare for the arrival of a second baby:

Hint to the firstborn that they might have a baby sister/brother one day and sift through old baby clothes together
While we didn’t reveal that we were expecting a second child to Clara until I was past the first trimester, what we did do, was hint that one day, she’ll become a big sister. We did this at every opportunity whenever it seemed appropriate. If she was changing and I noticed that a piece of clothing was too small for her (it’s a struggle keeping up with all her recent growth spurts!), I’d say, “This looks too small/short/tight on you now, you must be growing bigger and bigger! If you have a baby brother or a baby sister one day, they can wear it!”. It’s even worked well when discussing the purpose of the redundant baby gate we still have up in the kitchen. For some time now, Clara has been able to manoeuvre the baby gate lock and lets herself in and out of the kitchen freely. But now, she knows to repeat back to me that “we need the baby gate here for when baby brother is born; he might touch sharp things”.

And while we’re on the topic of baby announcements, below is a moment I’ll cherish forever!

Shop for a gift for the baby together and get a big sibling gift
Gift-giving and receiving is always fun for kids and choosing a gift for the baby together is no different! This is a great way to engage the older sibling in their newfound role. We ended up choosing Noah the dog, as a gift from Clara to the baby. Noah will be brother to Clara’s much loved Mia!

Having a big sibling gift from the baby is equally, if not more important as the joy of a new toy can help to soothe the firstborn’s mood and unease about the baby. It’s also extra special for the firstborn because nobody else will be getting a gift from the baby! The baby will be gifting Claire the ‘big sister’ koala and Quinn the ‘little brother’ koala!

These gorgeous ethically produced hand-knit dolls are from Cuddle+Kind, a social enterprise that helps feed children. For every doll sold, they give 10 meals to children in need. If you’re a first-time customer, you can get 20% off Cuddle+Kind dolls.

Read to the firstborn about becoming a big sister or brother
There are so many books about siblings and welcoming a new baby. My biggest tip here is to make sure you find an age-appropriate one. After trawling through what feels like hundreds of book, the one we’ve settled on reading every night is: What’s In There? All About Before You Were Born. I love how inclusive this book is (it covers caesarean birth, multiple births, adoption, etc) and gives basic explanation of human anatomy. It’s been a great conversation starter for Clara (aged 3 years and 8 months). Tap the ‘Books’ section on my Instagram Stories Highlights for a preview!

A growing family can be an overwhelming time for not only the firstborn, but also for yourself. As cliché as it is, I like to remind myself that the days are long but the years are short. I hope we can all look back at this period and think, we got through it with unconditional love and patience; we always tried our best to know what’s on their minds and in their hearts; we were always there to comfort, encourage, and love, and we raised them well.

And this concludes my pearls of wisdom from the half-way point of my second pregnancy. Can you relate to any of the above, or how has your second pregnancy been different? If you’re a parent to more than one, what truths have you learned?

Photography by LoveSariena

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The post 10 Truths I’ve Learned In My Second Pregnancy appeared first on Mama's Got This.

When I was a child, I never intentionally went for walks in the rain;

I was too “well behaved” to dare make a mess in the mud;

I carried a fear that I had been taught — too afraid of catching a cold to let the rain touch my skin;

But I choose to be the kind of mother who stops to jump in puddles with her daughter when it’s raining;

to listen to the rain falling on the ground;

to smell the fresh scent that rain brings.

I choose to be the kind of mother who gives her daughter time and space to explore her world, even when it’s raining and there are errands to run.

The post When it’s raining appeared first on Mama's Got This.

I first came across hypnobirthing when a friend said she was so calm during the birth of her child, that the doctors and midwives thought she was asleep! From the moment I fell pregnant, I knew hypnobirthing was for me.

With nothing to lose, I went into it pretty clueless and a little scared (they’d emailed earlier to say we’d be watching at least three real birthing videos during the first class; as background info, in high school, I’d felt sick to the stomach and had to walk out of the classroom when they played a birthing video during a health & PE class so until the hypnobirthing class, I’d never actually seen what really happens during childbirth) and I came out of it so informed and empowered. I’m a big believer in ‘knowledge is power’ and the course equipped me with the tools I needed for whatever turn the birthing would take.

Although the term hypnobirthing sounds like something for hippies, it’s all about a positive birth experience. I love that it brought things back to the basics. Drawing from nature, we learned how mammals usually give birth in the dark; they prepare a relaxed environment for birthing by finding somewhere safe and serene. They aren’t taught how to give birth, it’s a primal instinct. A female body is perfectly designed by mother nature to conceive, grow and birth a baby. So much of this resonated with me. We also learned about the ‘fight or flight’ mechanism whereby our bodies shut down or slow down when we feel fearful, threatened or not in control. This is why so often you hear of labour either slowing down or stopping once women are in hospital – the actual perceived fear of birth plays such a large role in the birthing experience. To undo these fears, different terminology is used in hypnobirthing and these have stuck with me; for example, contractions are surges, like waves in the sea. I also loved the affirmations and for many weeks, I was practicing the visualisations and affirmations daily. I even actively searched for more hypnobirthing videos. Birthing was no longer scary or gruesome, I could no longer watch a birthing video without crying in appreciation of how beautiful it was to see new life enter the world. I was ready to experience this magical process and I trusted my body to know what to do. 

Up until week 34, I’ve had a “normal” textbook pregnancy. Almost everything described in What To Expect When You’re Expecting detailed my exact symptoms and emotions at any given week. My morning sickness (though at night) disappeared overnight at precisely the end of the first trimester and throughout the following months, I continued to plot along to my regular routine. Many times, I’d forgotten I was even pregnant, accidentally bumping into people as I underestimated the width of my protruding pregnant belly. 

Thinking this was the last routine 3D/4D scan, I invited my mum to join Zen and I at the week 34 scan so she could see her future granddaughter’s movements in real-time. We were smitten the moment we saw how her facial features had developed into the sweetest face. Her lips were definitely my lips, and her nose was a mirror reflection of my dear hubby’s. 

The ultrasound technician started to slow down and repeat a few areas. She didn’t say anything but something didn’t feel right. “How large were you when you were born?” she asked. I looked to mum. “3.22kg” she said confidently — only to realise after the appointment that 3:22 was the time I was born, not my weight! (For the record, I weighed 2.94kg which is slightly small but relatively normal)

She stepped out to run the results past the specialist (not unusual) but then the specialist followed her back into the room. 

As I struggled to make sense of the sudden change in mood, the words “growth restricted” came up in the conversation many times. By week 34, babies are supposed to weigh about 2.1kg but my little girl’s estimate weight was just 1.7kg and the scan was also showing significantly low amounts of amniotic fluid. 

At my next OB appointment, unfortunately, my OB was away on leave and I saw her replacement. It was also the only OB appointment which Zen wasn’t able to attend with me, and probably the one I really needed him at. 

“Were you aware this was going to be a small baby?” he asked. 

Noone had ever mentioned it until the 34 week fetal growth & well-being scan I said.

Seemingly puzzled, he turned back to the computer and continued to go through the specialist notes and my file; he must’ve come across my plan to hypnobirth as he calmly explained — “At this stage, you are most likely going to have an elective caesarean before you reach full term at week 37. We can’t make a true assessment based on just one scan so we’ll be sending you back for another scan to check blood-work next week followed by another growth scan the week after.”

My eyes uncontrollably filled with tears as I held my breath to listen to his every word. Inside, I was running around like a mad woman. How could this be happening? Is this really happening? But this has been such a normal pregnancy! I cried deep-down but the tears stayed bottled up in position. Running my own business since the age of 25, I’ve learnt to withstand immense pressure without cracking. My head is usually quite quick to offer me a new perspective but this… this made me numb. 

Never one to bring race into the equation as being Australian-born, I’ve always associated with being more Aussie than Chinese, I suddenly found myself asking if being Chinese meant my baby would be smaller anyway? The OB concurred that yes, the charts where my baby was at the bottom 3rd percentile for, were measured predominantly on Caucasian babies in Australia, but even if we refer to charts for Southern-Chinese babies (Northern Chinese babies were larger), mine would still be at the bottom 10% which would spark concern regardless. 

“Couldn’t we leave the baby in there for longer to continue to grow?” I asked.

Was it my flexible-vegetarian diet? (But I’ve made such an effort to increase my meat in-take during this last trimester!)

Why was my weight gain still following the normal pattern — was I just getting fat?

Is my baby healthy?

Will we be able to have children again?

So many questions ran through my head. 

I spent the weekend reading up on caesarean births, VBAC (vaginal birth after caesarean) and IUGR (Intrauterine growth restriction).

By Monday, I was scheduled to see my OB who was back from leave, first thing in the morning. 

“Your pregnancy has thrown a curveball but you did everything right, there wasn’t more you could have done”, she said reassuringly. The baby was always at the bottom end of the growth charts but it was never alarming… until she fell below the 3rd percentile. She’d spoken with the replacement OB as well as the ultrasound specialist and today, we were going to put a plan into place. 

She confirmed my suspicions that it’d be too distressing to deliver such a small baby naturally. This was definitely going to be a caesarean. 

I’ve always taken peace in the way the baby works with my body to leave the womb in its own time and now I felt guilty we were going to take her out before she was ready.

I’d been organised and had already pre-booked to have my placenta encapsulated. I had plans for delayed cord clamping and I intended to spend an hour of skin-to-skin with the baby before they weighed her after birth. I’d been practising the affirmation and visualisation techniques learnt at hypnobirthing and I was even considering stem-cell storage. As we went through all of my concerns, it became evident that all of this was no longer feasible. We suddenly had more pressing matters to be concerned about. 

I was too scared to even mention the word ‘stillborn’ in my head but I knew it was my worst nightmare. As though she’d read my mind, the OB concluded that she was going to do everything she could to ensure we safely deliver the baby and prevent a case of stillborn from happening. 

From that moment at 34.5 weeks, I was monitored every 48 hours. Our plan was to reach full term at 37 weeks but if anything fell out of place, then I’d be delivering that instant. 

Double checking the estimated delivery date against the date of my last period, my elective caesarean was booked in at exactly the date I reached 37 weeks. And just like that, we suddenly had a new goal. 

As it turned out, further ultrasound readings showed that the initial amniotic fluid estimate was a false alarm as I displayed healthy amounts in all other scans. Tick. The baby was safe inside me for another day. As the doctors tried to figure out what the issue was, we also looked at the blood flow to/from the placenta which showed some signs of a placental issue but the baby and I didn’t exhibit the usual symptoms (usually the blood will be prioritised and go to the baby’s head so the baby’s head and body is typically unproportional which wasn’t the case). It was deemed inconclusive.

I was also being monitored for pre-eclampsia with regular blood pressure tests, blood tests and tests for protein in my urine; this was in addition to twice weekly CTG (cardiotocography) which monitors the fetal heart-rate and the uterine contractions during pregnancy, weekly OB appointments and additional blood-work and growth ultrasounds. My needle phobia became a thing of the past as I anxiously became a pincushion. It wasn’t just blood tests, I also had to have two steroid injections into my backside as an “insurance policy” to support the baby’s lungs. The needles felt longer and sharper, I felt every millimetre of it going into me, and the numbing pain seemed to linger for longer. 

At another ultrasound session, the specialist emphasised that even if they had picked up the abnormalities at the 12 week NIPT (non-invasive prenatal test), they wouldn’t have been able to do anything until now so we hadn’t lost any time. While we saw some reassuring signals from the baby practicing how to swallow and breathe, he explained that there was a small chance of chromosomal abnormalities that we could test for (which would involve a fairly invasive procedure of taking an amniotic fluid sample). As we spoke about the possible physical and mental disabilities, my heart sunk as I pictured a life not being able to do all the mother-daughter things I had assumed we would do. We decided against the test as it wouldn’t have made a difference knowing if the baby had a disability or not. We would wait until we met her, and then take whatever actions we needed to, to help her live a fulfilling life. It was an easy informed decision, but emotionally, I felt that my body had let down my baby and I desperately wanted this nightmare to be over. 

Day in, day out, I felt like a statistic. According to the Antenatal Childbirth & Parenting Program instructor at the hospital, about 60% of births at The Mater are caesarean – some emergency and some elective. I’m told this has to do with the increase in age of mothers in the Lower North Shore area. However, looking around my close circle of friends, I was to be the only one to deliver by c-section.

Although most people only do the hospital tour once before delivery, I became a regular visitor with all the tests and scans. A few days before my scheduled caesarean, I was advised to do a tour of the special care nursery as babies typically born smaller than 2.5kg are taken there for extra support. The facility was amazing and it was then, that it felt like we had made the right decision all these years to pay for private health insurance. A single night’s stay at the special care nursery costs around $1200 and we wouldn’t know how long the baby would need to stay there for. All of this would be covered by the private health fund so at least financially, it was one less thing to stress about. 

Those few weeks were probably some of the longest days I’d ever experienced. The constant fear of losing her because I didn’t detect her decreased movements was so much pressure. The ECGs provided so much relief every time we heard her heartbeat. I put on a brave face for everyone around me as I didn’t want to have to deal with it. I tried to apply my learnings on managing stress in business – if I’d done everything I could within my control, then there was no reason to stress. Having a busy work schedule and working right up to the delivery date actually worked in my favour as there was little time to worry about the inevitable, but occasionally, I caught myself drifting in thought, full of worry.

I woke up at 5am on the day of delivery to eat because you need to fast for six hours before the operation. I had a toasted English muffin with butter and a smear of Vegemite, a cup of earl grey tea and a glass of water. It felt like any regular day, except I was now excited that the day finally came for me to meet my baby!

I went back to sleep and woke at 9:30am to get ready. The drive was a bit surreal. I played the hypnobirthing tracks, closed my eyes and breathed myself into a calm state. We were at the hospital by 10am for my 12pm appointment. It felt so unnatural to know that I was giving birth at that given time, but I no longer cared about not experiencing labour. I just wanted to hold my baby and to know that she was healthy.

I was given a blue gown to undress and change into, and showed to my room. We were ready to meet our baby!

Priorities… reading the room service menu

Ready to meet our baby

The jumpsuit as styled by Zen

After a small mishap with my bluetooth headphones not connecting to my iPhone, by the time I was being wheeled down to the theatre, I had brought myself back to a positive, in-control, calm state of mind. 

The anaesthetist introduced himself and before I knew it, he was inserting the cannula into my arm. Remember by needle phobia? I was quietly freaking out. On one side, I was still trying to maintain my focus on the hypnobirthing track I was listening to, but once in the theatre, so many people needed to talk to me! The bright surgical lights were a shock awakening and I panicked when the anaesthetist asked me to sit up, lean on a pillow and cross my arms. “I can’t do this!” I screamed to Zen while fumbling with my headphones. Breathe. Focus. Visualise. In reality, the spinal block was done so quickly, I didn’t even have time to cry.

Spinal block about to go in

As I laid on the bench surrounded by a medical team of at least 12, I panicked when I lost sensation to my legs. I was asked to try and lift my legs but I couldn’t it. I was asked if I could feel the ice on my stomach, but I couldn’t feel it. Although I knew to expect all of this, being unable to control anything below my chest was initially quite terrifying. The OB said she was now going to put the catheter in and that it would be uncomfortable, but not painful; she was right. I closed my eyes and tried to ignore all the tugging that was happening behind the curtain. I repeated the affirmations to myself. 

I prepare for the birth of my baby with happiness and joy.

I breathe my love down to my baby.

My mind is clear. I focus on the miracle of new life.

I am calm and at peace. 

I am prepared to calmly meet whatever turn my birthing takes.

My body remains limp, all tension drifts away.

I am confident. I am happy. I am safe.

I feel secure knowing that my baby is safe, I am safe. 

I am loved and supported. 

My blood flows freely throughout my body.

My heart beats at the perfect resting level.

I trust my caregivers, I have confidence in them. 

What felt like seconds later (Zen said it was about three minutes into the surgery), I heard the sweetest little cry. It was our baby! My eyes swelled up in anticipation of her status.

Welcome to the world!

Happy tears

Where am I?

Being weighed and checked by the paediatrician

To our luck, even though the baby was smaller than the estimate weight, she was given the all-clear by the paediatrician and after Zen cut the umbilical cord, she was passed to me for some precious skin-to-skin cuddling. I was originally advised to prepare for possibly not being able to hold her if she needed to be whisked away for emergency oxygen support so to be able to hold her in the delivery room was incredible. I didn’t take any notice of being stitched back up as I entered into a newborn bubble. I was now the world to our little girl and she became my everything.

Zen followed the team and the baby up to the special care nursery while I was wheeled out to recovery. It was about two hours before I was wheeled into the special care nursery to be reunited with Zen and our little girl. 

First family selfie

We spent that night apart but I was thrilled to be able to express significant quantities of colostrum which was delivered straight to the special care nursery for feeding. One of the midwives helped me up for a shower the next morning and I remember being scared of the removal of the catheter but it turned out to be such a non-event. I was offered a wheelchair to travel between my room and the special care nursery but I think I had so much oxytocin running through me that I was on such a high. I was back on my feet in under 24 hours and I spent the following days besotted and blissfully sleep deprived with our little one.

Entering Nest 6 at the Special Care Nursery

This is a scary world

Her first feed

First sleep in the incubator

Finally reunited

My everything

Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in our hearts

Our precious first hug

Her tiny feet

The special care nursey

We’re parents!

I was clueless with breastfeeding but Clara knew what she was doing!

Three days old

Commonly, most women’s fear in miscarriage drops after 12 weeks, but the truth is, I don’t think that fear ever really goes away until after the pregnancy and the baby is in our arms. Every day in Australia, six babies will die in their mother’s womb and be stillborn. It’s true that no matter how ‘normal’ your pregnancy is, anything can happen when it comes to delivery. This experience has made me grateful for every moment and I’m so thankful to have had access to medical intervention when I needed it, and to have had such amazing care and support from my OB, the midwives and the nurses at the special care nursery.

When I returned home, although leaving the baby behind at special care nursery, Zen and I looked back at our hypnobirthing course notes where we wrote down what it meant to have a positive birth. For us, it meant to have a connection to the body and baby, for it to be memorable in a happy way, for me to be calm and not panicking, for there to have less focus on pain, for me to have a quick recovery – and as it turns out, we ended up achieving all of this with a caesarean birth. As much as I wanted to have a natural delivery, all that really mattered in the end was that my baby was delivered safely into this world.

Baby Clara Rose joined us at home just ten days after her birth and I’m pleased to report that she had already doubled in weight by the time of her one month birthday! 

Special care nursery graduation

As seen on Mamamia

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This is my maternity wear haul so far (I doubt I’ll be adding to this since I’m at week 31 today!) —

[See image gallery at mamahasgotthis.com]

When purchasing non-maternity wear during the second and third trimesters, my biggest tip is to opt for pieces that are longer and looser than you’d normally wear, and with dresses, go for anything stretchy without a fitted waist.

Here are some of my fave non-maternity wear pregnancy outfits:

16 weeks – Dior Diorama1 Silver Sunglasses – Gorman x Atelier Bingo Cruel Summer swing dress – Seed Erika Studded Slide sandals

17 weeks – Kookai top – H&M shorts – Prada Cinema sunglasses

20 Weeks – Kookai off shoulder khaki dress – Clé de Cartier watch

23 Weeks – Kookai dress, Sportsgirl Turquoise Rhinestone necklace – YSL lipstick – Sportsgirl velvet headband

24 weeks – Metalicus navy stripe dress – Mimco Piccadilly silk scarf – Prada White/Black Notebook Cahier bag

29 Weeks – Atmos & Here Paigton Midi dress in maroon stripe – Metalicus knit black cardigan – Kate Spade Breath Of Fresh Air I Need A Vacation clutch

30 Weeks – Atmos & Here Yara Twisted V-Neck Jersey dress – Oh My Giddy Aunt harmony ball necklace

The post Non-maternity clothes during pregnancy appeared first on Mama's Got This.

8 Weeks – Dior Diorama1 Silver Sunglasses – Bronx and Banco Piada Dress – Irene Rubio Corvina Rose Gold Heels

14 weeks & finally over the first trimester hump – Portmans The Buckle Up Biker Leather Jacket – ASOS Maternity Curved Hem Dress With Half Sleeve – Nike Juvenate Shoes

The post Pregnancy lessons: 10 things I’ve learned in the first trimester appeared first on Mama's Got This.

Growing up as the eldest, I’ve always known how independent and nurturing it can be for the first child to be a girl — I like to think I’m a pretty good big sister. But at the same time, I’ve always wished for an older brother to look out for me. In fact, for two consecutive nights before finding out the baby’s gender, I dreamt that it was a baby boy. Funnily enough, Zen dreamt that we were having a baby girl!

I received a missed call only three business days after the Non-Invasive Prenatal Test (NIPT). They said to allow 5 working days so it took me by surprise. Sadly, by the time I got around to calling the number back, several hours had passed and I’d missed their opening hours by 30 minutes. The good news was that in the brief voice message, I was advised we were low risk for all the main chromosomal abnormalities such as Patau’s syndrome, Edwards’ syndrome and Down syndrome. However, I had to wait a very long 15 hours until they reopened at 8am before we could find out the baby’s gender! 

At one minute past eight the next morning, I sat down on the couch with Zen beside me. After confirming the good news of the test results, she said, “We have you marked down as wanting to know the baby’s gender; would you like me to tell you now or would you like to wait until your appointment with your obsterician?”. I squealed an excited “Now!” as my palms became sweaty and my heart started racing. Gripping onto Zen’s hand, I trembled with the iPhone in my other hand. Her voice was projected loud and clear through speaker phone, “Congratulations, you’re having a little baby girl!”. The world around me paused for what felt like an hour as I took it all in. 

It was a great relief to find out the NIPT results as early as we did (it is available from week 10 whereas the Nuchal Translucency is usually measured much later at around 11.5 and 13 weeks 6 days gestation) as I felt we could finally start enjoying the pregnancy but knowing the baby’s gender this early made things more real. I pretty much freaked out for a few days as I drowned myself in thoughts of self-doubt and concerns about this sexist world. Zen being zen, calmed me down and changed my perspective. 

Several days later, after reassuring myself with many articles on raising confident and independent daughters, I began to plan for her cute baby clothes and all the sweet furnishings I’d buy for the nursery. My parents said that for superstitious reasons, they didn’t buy anything for me before I was born. On the day I was delivered, my Dad had to rush out to buy baby clothes, a cot, a pram, the lot! I’m not sure I’ll have so much willpower as I already have my eye on some really gorgeous pieces! 

Inspired by the Holi festival — the festival of love — we decided to make our own colour chalk powder for the gender reveal. Using just cornstarch, food colouring and water, we made two colour variations, pink and purple, and left the sticky gloop out on baking trays to dry overnight. After a quick blitz in the blender (my Tefal Cuisine Companion was perfect for this), the powder was scooped into brown paper bags and stored, ready for the reveal! I sent a text message to the family, asking them all to be dressed in white. 

My sister and mum both had intuitive feelings it was a girl and I was beyond excited to share the news with them; it was so wonderful to be able to capture everyone’s reaction! Everyone is completely thrilled and I simply can’t wait to meet her!

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During a coffee catch-up with a girlfriend yesterday, I learned about Project 333. The idea behind #Project333 is simple: Wear only 33 articles of clothing for the next  months. All clothing, accessories, jewellery, outerwear and shoes count towards the number. Exceptions include wedding ring, underwear, sleep wear, in-home lounge wear, and workout clothing (you can only wear your workout clothing to workout). Clothing that no longer fits or becomes in poor condition may be replaced during the time period.

Since I’m in a transition phase (woohoo – I’ve just gone over the first trimester hump) and we’re now in a new season (first day of Autumn today!), I thought it’d be a good opportunity to trial Project 333. I’m so over my cramped wardrobe, even though I’m pretty proud of the fact that I’ve kept it neatly colour coordinated for well over 12 months now. I’ll update this post with a photo of my 33 items as soon as I’ve built the collection. Stay tuned. 

You can read more about Project 333 at Be More With Less. 

The post A minimalist experiment: 33 items for 3 months appeared first on Mama's Got This.

Let’s say that my youngest, Danny, gets dropped off at a party.  If anything about the situation makes him uncomfortable, all he has to do is text the letter “X” to any of us (his mother, me, his older brother or sister).  The one who receives the text has a very basic script to follow.  Within a few minutes, they call Danny’s phone.  When he answers, the conversation goes like this:

“Hello?”

“Danny, something’s come up and I have to come get you right now.”

“What happened?”

“I’ll tell you when I get there.  Be ready to leave in five minutes.  I’m on my way.”

At that point, Danny tells his friends that something’s happened at home, someone is coming to get him, and he has to leave.

In short, Danny knows he has a way out; at the same time, there’s no pressure on him to open himself to any social ridicule.  He has the freedom to protect himself while continuing to grow and learn to navigate his world.

This is one of the most loving things we’ve ever given him, and it offers him a sense of security and confidence in a world that tends to beat our young people into submission.

You can read the full article here: bertfulks.com/2017/02/23/x-plan-giving-your-kids-a-way-out-xplan/#more-2025

It sounds like the simplest concept but it seems to be a great way to be there for kids without being overbearingly protective. I like that there’s mutual trust. I definitely plan to use it when my kids are older. What do you think?

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